i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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