this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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