I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize