She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize