Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize