remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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