yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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