Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize