what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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