I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize