Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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