I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize