Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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