I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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