You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
you never un-have a 4some
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize