Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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