Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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