my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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