I cannot find my penis.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize