I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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