bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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