"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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