oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize