I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
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We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
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But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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