i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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