It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize