He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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