Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
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He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
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You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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