listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
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I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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