I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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