Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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