i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
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