This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
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my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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