She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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