they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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