I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize