I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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