why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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