Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize