If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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