fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i think i just lost a toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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