he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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