Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize