i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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