Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize