that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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