If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Please don't give away my fajitas
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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