He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
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He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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