you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
please come you make the beer taste better
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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