Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize